Has Valentine’s Day found you alone – or alone in a relationship? (Yes, there is such a creature.) What do you do when the “d” in Valentine’s Day cozies up with despair or disappointment while chocolates, flowers, and cards fly by you in the checkout line – yet there are none to greet you at home?
At its core, Valentine’s Day is about love, and taking pause to delight in displays of love that express appreciation for a special someone in our life. If you explore the history of how Valentine’s Day evolved, however, you might be a little surprised that it made it through as the ritual of love we recognize today. Stories about exploitation and enticement of the masses for political and religious gain mingle with fertility rites and names pulled out of village-mating jars. Wooing, courtship, and acts of appreciation didn’t enter the picture until much later.
Based on all that, the relationship status of Valentine’s Day would have to read, “It’s complicated.” Not unlike many of the relationships we find ourselves in and out of, huh? No wonder it’s a day of delight and dread in so many lives. This is love’s challenge – given time and human involvement.
Where am I going with this?
I want you to take a moment to think about where you are with the business of love, and how you evolved to this place. You and I are going to adjust Cupid’s arrow.
Now, think about being IN love. Think about YOU in love. Infatuation counts if you do not have an experience that comes readily to mind. Close your eyes, take a deep breath, and let that thought seep in.
Did that other person make you feel “all aglow,” as the poets would say? Were your steps a little lighter? Did the moon seem brighter? Were colors more vivid? Food better? Jokes funnier? Did fantasies run wild with poetry and music? Did you catch yourself humming or smiling for no reason in particular? Being in love invited you into a visceral playground of sensual delights didn’t it?
Well, where’d all that sweetness go?
Here’s a news flash. Nowhere. The person you fell in love with may not be here, but you’re still here. Right?
I’m going to ask you to do something radical. Are you ready? (Pulling Cupid’s bow.) Be you in love. Right now. Be that light, anticipatory, juicy self. Be that you, in love, because it was always you that made you feel that way – not the other person.
If the delightful capacity to feel so alive wasn’t already in you, it couldn’t be invited out of you. You don’t get peaches from a cherry tree.
When that special someone came into view you said, “Permission granted.” They didn’t hold the key. They didn’t need one. You opened the door and said, “Come on in. Lets play.”
What if, right now, you say, “Permission granted” – to you? What if you make a conscious decision to move through the world the way you do when you’re in love?
If you can buy into some little cherub with an arrow and poor aim, you can get this. Go look in the mirror. How amazing are you in love? You went through all that to get here. Don’t stop now. Don’t hold that delicious self in reserve for a sweetheart who hasn’t arrived – or one who is not yet present enough to recognize or appreciate the partner they have. And, especially, don’t contain that delicious self if your partner has passed on. They can see you and, trust me, they share delight with you when you let that juicy self they fell in love with play. ❤
Expand your heart to fully woo and receive you. Live your life in delight. Then, you won’t have missed anything when that special someone shows up in your world – or you are reunited on the other side of the veil. Quite frankly, we ALL need your love mojo now.
So, let’s have some Valentine fun. Here are a few arrows to get you started. (Some of these you can do year-round!)
• Buy a Valentine’s card that would make you cry happy tears if you received it from a special someone, write something nice in it and mail it to yourself. (You are worth the additional price of a stamp and trip to the mailbox.)
• Ask a stranger if they can hold a box of chocolates for you. Tell them they have a lovely smile and walk away, leaving them with the chocolates.
• Write “I Love You.” on the bathroom mirror after you shower and leave it there for next time. Reinforce it after as many showers as you like.
• Buy a balloon and give it to the person behind you in the grocery line.
• Have a florist create a bouquet using your favorite flowers and colors. Sign the card “From your special someone who knows all your sweet spots without being told – or reminded.” Arrange to have it delivered to you.
• Buy a rose (or small bouquet) and place it on the windshield of the car parked next to yours.
• Light that special scented candle you’ve been saving. Use the crystal wine glass, not the plastic tumbler. Play the sensual music you reserve for date night. Have dinner delivered. Watch a movie that makes you smile.
Lastly, extend gratitude and appreciation to every valentine that crossed your path. If you look closely, you’ll see they each gifted you with an in-love insight – even the ones that missed the mark.
Now, get out there and have fun lavishing tokens of love on you and the world. And if there’s someone you know who could benefit from reading this, share the love. It just might make you their best Valentine Buddy this year.
Kisses and Hugs and Tugs at Your Heart. ❤ XO Bernadette
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